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The Watch

6/10
Comedy . Action . Sci-Fi
 

Four everyday suburban guys come together as an excuse to escape their humdrum lives one night a week. But when they accidentally discover that their town has become overrun with aliens posing as ordinary suburbanites, they have no choice but to save their neighborhood - and the world - from total extermination.

 
Actors: Ben Stiller , Vince Vaughn , Jonah Hill , Richard Ayoade , Rosemarie DeWitt , Will Forte , Mel Rodriguez , Doug Jones , Erin Moriarty , Nicholas Braun
Directors: Akiva Schaffer
Country: USA
Release: 2012-07-27
More Info:
  • Ellen E. Jones

    If you can ignore the disturbing parallels with recent events, this middle-aged, Middle-American "Attack The Block" raises a laugh.

    Total Film Full Review
  • Betsy Sharkey

    Some of the phallic jokes work, others are really lame. Fortunately there are many other funny bits that have nothing to do with body parts that keep the laughs coming.

    Los Angeles Times Full Review
  • James Rocchi

    As broad as a barn yet as thin as paper, The Watch is a summertime action-comedy that works almost in spite of its overcrowded cast and loose, pulpy spitball of a plot.

    Boxoffice Magazine Full Review
  • Michelle Orange

    It's not that The Watch is terrible – it's not not terrible, but there are sufficient diversions and more punitive ways to spend your evening – but that it's one of those smoke bomb comedies that seems to disappear even while you're watching, leaving no trace of itself behind.

    Movieline Full Review
  • Bilge Ebiri

    Yes, it all gets kind of old, and yes, it's all over the place, but you'll probably find yourself laughing at least some of the time. Dick jokes, after all, can be pretty funny.

    New York Magazine (Vulture) Full Review
  • Connie Ogle

    The body part joke to alien joke ratio seems slightly skewed in favor of the former, which makes the humor more than a little repetitive. How many different ways can one film say: "Men are idiots"?

    Miami Herald Full Review
  • Ann Hornaday

    The Watch takes the same ethos of male bonding, obsession with sex and sardonic violence that has proved so profitable in recent years on yet another summer spin. The tires may be in need of changing pretty soon, but for now the jalopy still runs.

    Washington Post Full Review
  • Claudia Puig

    The film is one long Costco joke - but the punch line is never all that funny.

    USA Today Full Review
  • M. E. Russell

    The end result is mediocre, slightly sloppy and a mild waste of a great cast.

    Portland Oregonian Full Review
  • Steven Rea

    Reality aside, The Watch is harmless enough - and even occasionally humorous, in a riffy, sketch-comedy kind of way.

    Philadelphia Inquirer Full Review
  • Justin Chang

    What's onscreen feels as half-assed and juvenile as it was probably always envisioned to be, suggesting an umpteenth retelling of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" by way of "The Hangover," or perhaps a far less inspired version of "Attack the Block" transplanted to small-town Ohio.

    Variety Full Review
  • Bill Goodykoontz

    It should be funnier. It should be better. Instead, it just sort of is.

    Arizona Republic Full Review
  • Michael Phillips

    It sticks in the craw. The whole movie does.

    Chicago Tribune Full Review
  • Joe Williams

    If this movie wanders into your neighborhood, the only watch that will hold your attention is the timepiece on your wrist.

    St. Louis Post-Dispatch Full Review
  • Keith Phipps

    In spite of some prominently featured green slime and power-beam weaponry, it won't make anyone forget "Ghostbusters" anytime soon.

    The A.V. Club Full Review
  • Roger Ebert

    It's so determined to be crude, vulgar and offensive that after a while I grew weary. Abbott and Costello used to knock out funnier movies on this exact intellectual plane without using a single F, S, C, P or A word.

    Chicago Sun-Times Full Review
  • Rodrigo Perez

    Certainly possesses a lot of energy, but it's never harnessed or focused effectively. As a buddy comedy, all four leads have done better, and you already know what those movies are, and this one doesn't stand among them.

    The Playlist Full Review
  • Lisa Schwarzbaum

    If this amateur justice league spent as much time analyzing clues as they did analyzing their junk, in every slang variation available in the Urban Dictionary, the murder mystery in The Watch could have been solved on the first night of surveillance.

    Entertainment Weekly Full Review
  • William Thomas

    Lacking the bite of "Attack The Block," Stiller and co. are happy to fall back on their usual shtick, with director Schaffer providing barely enough juice to power the laughs.

    Empire Full Review
  • David Fear

    There's a secret weapon embedded within The Watch, however, and his name is Richard Ayoade.

    Time Out New York Full Review
  • Scott Tobias

    The Watch perks up when Ayoade's spacey line readings give it something unique and unexpected - otherwise, per Costco, audiences are buying their generic sci-fi comedy in bulk.

    NPR Full Review
  • Stephen Holden

    The movie builds to a human-versus-alien showdown so sloppily staged that it makes little visual sense. The bargain-basement pyrotechnics suggest that much of The Watch was filmed on autopilot on a strict budget.

    The New York Times Full Review
  • Sheri Linden

    Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn play the guys they always play in this sci-fi comedy misfire.

    The Hollywood Reporter Full Review
  • Marc Savlov

    The Watch is awfully lightweight, and while it earns its R rating via some comic gore and a whole lot of hyper-sexualized tomfoolery, it's hardly the best work of anyone involved.

    Austin Chronicle Full Review
  • Richard Corliss

    You're unlikely to laugh much, and you may get an unexpected case of the non-art-imitates-bad-life creeps.

    Time Full Review
  • Peter Travers

    Then there's the movie itself, which should be crazy, stupid fun but settles for just stupid.

    Rolling Stone Full Review
  • James Berardinelli

    The Watch is a studio turd marinated in eau de skunk that stinks worse than week-old fish.

    ReelViews Full Review
  • Ty Burr

    It's another one of those loud, penis-obsessed bro farces, lazily written (by actor Seth Rogen, among others) and haphazardly directed.

    Boston Globe Full Review
  • Andrew Schenker

    What's perhaps most off-putting about the movie isn't its increasingly stale humor, but the way it ultimately validates its characters' worst impulses.

    Slant Magazine Full Review
  • Peter Rainer

    It's a mash-up of blah buddy comedy and gross-out CGI monster splatter, with nary a laugh to be had.

    Christian Science Monitor Full Review
  • Rick Groen

    It's a dumb-ass comedy done strictly for a seriously large paycheque.

    The Globe and Mail (Toronto) Full Review
  • Kyle Smith

    The danger of dreaming up a predictable adventure for a group of nobodies you hold in contempt is that the audience will see your indifference and raise you.

    New York Post Full Review
  • Mick LaSalle

    As far as formulaic, empty and disappointing comedies go, The Watch is far from the worst. About every seven or eight minutes, perhaps a dozen times over the course of the picture, the movie generates a medium-size laugh. Not a big laugh.

    San Francisco Chronicle Full Review
  • Steve Persall

    This messy mix of sci-fi horror and post-Superbad raunchiness didn't make me laugh once. Not a single snicker, chortle or smile.

    Tampa Bay Times Full Review
  • Joe Neumaier

    Every summer needs a super-turkey. So barring anything in the next 30 days that's the second coming of "Howard the Duck," the witless, completely terrible "comedy" now called The Watch should win hands-down.

    New York Daily News Full Review
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  • usa

  • sterility

  • castration

  • marriage

  • friendship

  • alien

  • suburb

  • alien invasion

  • death

  • teenage daughter

  • neighborhood watch

  • creepy neighbor

  • manager

  • escape

  • ohio

  • neighbor

  • text messaging

  • near death experience

  • ambush

  • false accusation

  • patriotism

  • mascot

  • night watchman

  • outrunning explosion

  • pot smoking

  • egg

  • 2010s

  • scar

  • spit in the face

  • police officer killed

  • tattoo

  • camera phone

  • cell phone

  • self sacrifice

  • dog

  • outer space

  • scene during opening credits

  • battle

  • handcuffs

  • arrest

  • interracial friendship

  • showdown

  • machete

  • mother son relationship

  • sociopath

  • oral sex

  • anal sex

  • premarital sex

  • female full frontal nudity

  • disguise

  • freeze frame

  • body bag

  • weapon

  • cigarette smoking

  • drunkenness

  • security camera

  • supermarket

  • brawl

  • fight

  • fistfight

  • shape shifting alien

  • farm

  • farmer

  • fear

  • paranoia

  • creature

  • dumb police

  • police

  • ambulance

  • punched in the face

  • crime scene

  • surveillance

  • product placement

  • stupid victim

  • revolver

  • thrown through a window

  • american football

  • stadium

  • taxi

  • boyfriend girlfriend relationship

  • suspicion

  • swimming pool

  • shape shifting

  • hole in chest

  • threatened with a knife

  • turncoat

  • race against time

  • held at gunpoint

  • montage

  • teenage girl

  • flashlight

  • dual wield

  • knife

  • eavesdropping

  • animal killing

  • exploding house

  • beer

  • subterranean

  • impostor

  • presumed dead

  • knocked out

  • guitar

  • sunglasses

  • violence

  • profanity

  • vulgarity

  • machismo

  • male camaraderie

  • chase

  • small town

  • citizen's arrest

  • police officer

  • warehouse

  • interrogation

  • female frontal nudity

  • breasts

  • rear entry sex

  • scene of the crime

  • blu ray disc

  • blu ray

  • nintendo wii system

  • kinect for xbox 360

  • kinect

  • xbox 360

  • ends with narration

  • pump action shotgun

  • sex orgy

  • pool party

  • close up of eyes

  • chewing gum

  • laser

  • tractor

  • drinking in a car

  • aerial shot

  • game room

  • football game

  • newscast

  • power outage

  • forklift

  • narrated by character

  • patriotic tatoo

  • naturalized american citizen

  • costco store

  • f word

  • slow motion scene

  • severed head

  • condom

  • penis ripped off

  • severed penis

  • shot in the crotch

  • blood on camera lens

  • transmitter

  • face slap

  • shot to death

  • shot in the head

  • shot in the chest

  • heart ripped out

  • heart in hand

  • shot in the shoulder

  • murder

  • murder of a police officer

  • hand through chest

  • walkie talkie

  • raised middle finger

  • green blood

  • cut hand

  • thrown through a glass door

  • head butt

  • twin sister

  • circle jerk

  • masturbation

  • orgy

  • dildo

  • bare chested male

  • party

  • jumping through a window

  • photograph

  • gnome

  • disembowelment

  • corpse

  • year 2012

  • explosion

  • cow

  • killing an animal

  • exploding body

  • shotgun

  • hit by a car

  • skateboard

  • police station

  • foot chase

  • throwing eggs

  • reference to the hardy boys

  • flyer

  • police sergeant

  • urination

  • stakeout

  • father daughter relationship

  • pool table

  • high school dropout

  • balisong

  • football field

  • news report

  • store manager

  • character says i love you

  • husband wife relationship

  • gore

  • blood splatter

  • pistol

  • slime

  • marijuana joint

  • character repeating someone else's dialogue

  • security guard

  • butt slap

  • 3d glasses

  • costco wholesale

  • lens flare

  • jogging

  • earth viewed from space

  • voice over narration

  • infertility

  • singing in a car

  • exploding building

  • reference to henry rollins

  • reference to suicidal tendencies

  • reference to anthrax

  • reference to bob seger

  • reference to john mellencamp

  • reference to lynyrd skynyrd

  • two word title

  • reference to justin bieber

  • death of friend

  • title spoken by character

  • surprise ending

  • facebook

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