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Conan the Barbarian

5/10
Action . Fantasy . Adventure
 

A quest that begins as a personal vendetta for the fierce Cimmerian warrior soon turns into an epic battle against hulking rivals, horrific monsters, and impossible odds, as Conan (Jason Momoa) realizes he is the only hope of saving the great nations of Hyboria from an encroaching reign of supernatural evil.

 
Actors: Rachel Nichols , Rose McGowan , Jason Momoa , Nonso Anozie , Raad Rawi , Steve O'Donnell , Leo Howard , Saïd Taghmaoui , Stephen Lang , Ron Perlman
Directors: Marcus Nispel
Country: USA
Release: 2011-08-19
More Info:
  • Mark Holcomb

    Squeamish types may balk, but the gory cruelty on display here is faithful to the source material and deeply thrilling.

    Village Voice Full Review
  • Kyle Smith

    It has a certain commitment to its cause, and by that I mean it supplies the necessary flayings, slayings, beheadings and, um, a be-nose-ing, all of it dancing to the tune of those amusingly stilted He-Man declaratives - King James Bible cadences applied to comic-book visions. It knows it's a B movie, and gets on with it.

    New York Post Full Review
  • Betsy Sharkey

    Brutal, bloody beyond belief, and has no socially redeeming value. So it is with a certain amount of guilt that I say it's kind of a wicked blast to watch, especially if you're in the mood for some righteous revenge.

    Los Angeles Times Full Review
  • Keith Uhlich

    The film's secret weapon proves to be Freddy Krueger–fingernailed witch Marique, whom Rose McGowan plays with the kind of fuck-it-all brio - imagine a cross between Madeline Kahn in "History of the World: Part I" and Lady Gaga - that should garner her a Razzie and an Oscar.

    Time Out New York Full Review
  • Steve Persall

    Conan the Barbarian has its small, insipid pleasures, if you're in the mood.

    Tampa Bay Times Full Review
  • Manohla Dargis

    Mr. Momoa has some awfully big biceps to fill. He rises to that task with a pumped physique made for ogling. Thankfully, he also shows glints of self-awareness that can make hypermasculine blowouts like these more watchable and were largely missing from Mr. Schwarzenegger's wide-eyed turn in the first "Conan the Barbarian" (1982).

    The New York Times Full Review
  • Ben Sachs

    Rife with the oldest and simplest pleasures of 3-D movies: all sorts of objects fly at the camera, and the climactic battle takes place over a deep, dark chasm. At its best the movie suggests a funhouse at a state-of-the-art county fair; at its worst it's a fairly dumb celebration of brute violence.

    Chicago Reader Full Review
  • Michael Phillips

    It's mostly noise and splurch and, as I mentioned, aaaaarrrrggggghhhhh!

    Chicago Tribune Full Review
  • Lisa Schwarzbaum

    There's something and nothing for everyone in Conan the Barbarian 3D.

    Entertainment Weekly Full Review
  • Roger Moore

    Take away much of the myth, most of the sorcery and all of the humor of the 1982 John Milius-Arnold Schwarzenegger version of the sword and sorcery epic "Conan the Barbarian" and you've got an idea what the new "Conan" is like.

    Orlando Sentinel Full Review
  • Peter Debruge

    The well-executed picture solves the biggest challenge facing those hoping to breathe new life -- however nasty, brutish and short -- into the 79-year-old franchise by finding an actor capable of filling Ah-nuld's shoes.

    Variety Full Review
  • Stephanie Zacharek

    The movie's look is artificially grainy, and most of the scenes are encrusted with CGI - you'd have to chip it away with a chisel to get to anything human or interesting or even remotely fantastical.

    Movieline Full Review
  • Richard Corliss

    A gaudily ornamented medieval banquet table groaning with junk food and open entrails.

    Time Full Review
  • Todd Gilchrist

    The bigger problem is that the action literally bleeds together and there's no sense of pacing.

    Boxoffice Magazine Full Review
  • James Berardinelli

    The 2011 version of Conan the Barbarian looks cheap and feels rushed. The few good elements are dwarfed by a generic, nonsensical plot and shoddy storytelling.

    ReelViews Full Review
  • Rick Groen

    In today's cultural climate, any remake of Conan the Barbarian can only be considered (a) redundant or (b) a cruel case of rubbing salt in our cinematic wounds. Either way, it ain't a pretty sight – in fact, it's downright barbaric.

    The Globe and Mail (Toronto) Full Review
  • John DeFore

    Those nostrils do a lot of Momoa's acting, to be honest. As right as he is looks-wise, Momoa falls short in attitude.

    Washington Post Full Review
  • Scott Bowles

    Conan the Barbarian lives by a pretty simple ethos: He lives, he loves, he slays. What he doesn't do, alas, is act.

    USA Today Full Review
  • Ty Burr

    As for the movie itself, it's tolerable.

    Boston Globe Full Review
  • Roger Ebert

    A brutal, crude, witless high-tech CGI contrivance, in which no artificial technique has been overlooked, including 3-D.

    Chicago Sun-Times Full Review
  • Marc Savlov

    The result is a somewhat functional blood feast for the exploitation crowd, but it's hardly a bead of sweat on the original's battered backside. Oh, and the score? Basil Poledouris' bombastic brass is still No. 1.

    Austin Chronicle Full Review
  • Bill Goodykoontz

    There's just not a lot to like here, with the exception of what may be one of the all-time best bad movie lines, one Conan utters to Tamara as a kind of personal credo: "I live. I love. I slay. I am content."

    Arizona Republic Full Review
  • Kirk Honeycutt

    There is no purpose to the film other than random blood splattering amid scenes of bondage, primitive savagery and S&M eroticism. The film is numbing and dumb with its hero indistinguishable from its villains.

    The Hollywood Reporter Full Review
  • Mick LaSalle

    Morgan Freeman's voice is heard as the narrator, which is in itself the stuff of parody. Then we listen and get lost within two sentences, because the narration is so poorly written that Freeman himself probably didn't know what he was talking about.

    San Francisco Chronicle Full Review
  • Rene Rodriguez

    Momoa, a familiar face from "Game of Thrones" to "Baywatch," has the muscles but not the imposing persona and barbaric presence that Conan requires.

    Miami Herald Full Review
  • Keith Phipps

    It shouldn't, in other words, be that hard to make a good Conan movie. John Milius did a half-decent job with "Conan The Barbarian" in 1982, but this new film of the same name feels like a half-hearted revamp of virtually any of the Conan rip-offs that clogged up video-store shelves in the '80s.

    The A.V. Club Full Review
  • Jaime N. Christley

    The re-whatevered Conan the Barbarian feels unexpectedly low-rent, even with its multi-million-dollar backdrops and ear-splitting, rumbling soundtrack and (presumably post-converted) 3D imagery.

    Slant Magazine Full Review
  • Joe Neumaier

    With the most growling and grunting of any movie this summer - and that includes those apes perched atop the box office - Conan the Barbarian seems at times to have actually been made by barbarians.

    New York Daily News Full Review
  • Scott Tobias

    There are swords and sorcery, pirates and monsters, taxed bodices and taxing mythology. In other words, there's the bare minimum necessary to summon this dismal movie into existence.

    NPR Full Review
Add Soundtrack
  • 19. Wifeing (Theme of Love from "Conan the Barbarian") Performer: Basil Poledouris Stream Music Online

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  • burning village

  • dying to save son

  • pile of bones

  • avalanche

  • shackled

  • sailing ship

  • spyglass

  • horse drawn wagon

  • run over

  • two on a horse

  • trebuchet

  • poisoned

  • vengeance

  • boarding party

  • natural bridge

  • passionate kiss

  • dancing girl

  • woman bound spread eagle

  • sex scene

  • death of daughter

  • younger version of character

  • childbirth

  • boulder

  • molten metal

  • falling to death

  • chained to a wall

  • chained

  • bound in chains

  • killed with own sword

  • shot with an arrow

  • suit of armor

  • cavalry battle

  • anvil

  • four against one

  • egg

  • test

  • newborn

  • caesarean section

  • woman in labor

  • fetus

  • pulp fiction

  • prehistoric times

  • stone age

  • paleolithic age

  • 10000 b.c.

  • hyborian age

  • house fire

  • volley of arrows

  • cavalry

  • starts with narration

  • catapult

  • dark hero

  • ambush

  • single parent

  • single father

  • husband wife relationship

  • ritual

  • freeze frame

  • student teacher relationship

  • man hits a woman

  • tied up

  • bound and gagged

  • righteous rage

  • showdown

  • waterfall

  • subterranean

  • impalement

  • catfight

  • rope bridge

  • crushed head

  • crushed to death

  • animal attack

  • underwater scene

  • drowning

  • disguise

  • supernatural power

  • damsel in distress

  • creature

  • slow motion scene

  • stick fight

  • explosion

  • exploding body

  • jumping from height

  • fall through floor

  • sorceress

  • hammock

  • walled city

  • kicked in the stomach

  • kicked in the face

  • punched in the chest

  • killing an animal

  • palace

  • castle

  • demon

  • demonic possession

  • resurrection

  • back from the dead

  • flashback

  • escape

  • female warrior

  • disfigurement

  • gash in the face

  • slingshot

  • threatened with a knife

  • dagger

  • knife

  • kidnapping

  • female nudity

  • nun

  • pipe smoking

  • oracle

  • interrogation

  • severed nose

  • dungeon

  • arm wrestling

  • interracial friendship

  • megalomaniac

  • world domination

  • male nudity

  • mercenary

  • slave camp

  • burned to death

  • horse chase

  • foot chase

  • severed head

  • campfire

  • master apprentice relationship

  • assassination attempt

  • assassin

  • henchman

  • neck breaking

  • head butt

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  • axe

  • drifter

  • mountain

  • goat

  • evil sorcerer

  • fire

  • character name in title

  • based on pulp magazine

  • action hero

  • adventure hero

  • bare chested male

  • based on comic

  • based on comic book

  • anti hero

  • adventurer

  • alternate history

  • 100th century b.c.

  • death of father

  • death of mother

  • three word title

  • hero

  • one man army

  • one against many

  • tough guy

  • violence

  • blood splatter

  • blood

  • gore

  • spear

  • tough girl

  • martial arts

  • mixed martial arts

  • combat

  • disarming someone

  • sword duel

  • sword fight

  • sword fighting

  • swordsman

  • strongman

  • battlefield

  • magic

  • fighting

  • fight

  • stabbed with a sword

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  • shot with a bow and arrow

  • bow and arrow

  • battle axe

  • axe fight

  • murder of father

  • suicide

  • sandman

  • blacksmith

  • one eyed man

  • eye patch

  • king

  • death

  • child warrior

  • massacre

  • premarital sex

  • falling from height

  • jumping off cliff

  • brutality

  • throat slitting

  • mutilation

  • warrior woman

  • good versus evil

  • serpent

  • boat

  • evil man

  • person on fire

  • ancient

  • jealousy

  • archer

  • blind archer

  • wagon

  • horse

  • chase

  • seeing father murdered

  • 3 dimensional

  • hand to hand combat

  • name in title

  • death in childbirth

  • caesarean birth

  • incestuous desire

  • father daughter relationship

  • father son relationship

  • rite of passage

  • falling through ice

  • topknot

  • loss of nose

  • human sacrifice

  • prophecy

  • tasting blood

  • tentacle

  • giant octopus

  • black magic

  • dual wield

  • no opening credits

  • death of wife

  • woods

  • snow

  • stabbed in the foot

  • stabbed in the leg

  • stabbed in the chest

  • stabbed in the back

  • stabbed in the head

  • stabbed to death

  • fireball

  • severed arm

  • shot in the head

  • shot in the chest

  • shot in the back

  • shot in the leg

  • shot to death

  • beaten to death

  • fistfight

  • pregnancy

  • murder of a pregnant woman

  • murder

  • child in peril

  • princess

  • slavery

  • sword

  • remake

  • revenge

  • rescue

  • tied to a wagon wheel

  • building collapse

  • key

  • swallowing a key

  • scar

  • facial scar

  • shoulder scar

  • claw

  • claw hand

  • sword forging

  • celebration

  • slave girl

  • freed slave

  • molten metal poured on head

  • cruelty

  • cruel death

  • burned alive

  • remake of cult film

  • chaos

  • battle

  • witch

  • thief

  • monk

  • boy

  • capture

  • monastery

  • pirate

  • attack

  • slave

  • tavern

  • bone

  • warlord

  • soldier

  • mask

  • warrior

  • robert e. howard

  • sword and sandal

  • sword and fantasy

  • sword and sorcery

  • box office flop

  • forging a sword

  • sword and sorcerery

  • fictional war

  • muscleman

  • barbarian

  • torture

  • sorcerer

1