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Vampires Suck

4/10
Comedy . Horror
 

Becca, an anxious, non-vampire teen is torn between two boys. Before she can choose, Becca must get around her controlling father, who embarrasses Becca by treating her like a child. Meanwhile, Becca's friends contend with their own romantic issues - all of which collide at the prom.

 
Actors: Kelsey Ford , Bradley Dodds , Ken Jeong , Jenn Proske , Matt Lanter , Chris Riggi , Diedrich Bader , Krystal Mayo , Mike Mayhall , Jun Hee Lee , Arielle Kebbel
Directors: Jason Friedberg , Aaron Seltzer
Country: USA
Release: 2010-08-18
More Info:
  • Adam Markovitz

    The exception is newcomer Jenn Proske, who spoofs Twilight star Kristen Stewart's flustered, hair-tugging angst with hilarious precision.

    Entertainment Weekly Full Review
  • Steve Persall

    After a lucrative career of bashing well-made scary, epic, disaster and date movies, Friedberg and Seltzer have a source begging to be mocked.

    Tampa Bay Times Full Review
  • Elizabeth Weitzman

    "Vampires" doesn't suck, exactly, but the laziness and lack of imagination kinda bites.

    New York Daily News Full Review
  • Jeannette Catsoulis

    This pointless parody dumps us in the fictional town of Sporks, Wash., a location lousy with vampires and werewolves.

    The New York Times Full Review
  • Frank Scheck

    The main performers do a reasonably good job of parodying the "Twilight" leads, with Proske particularly effective in subtly lampooning Kristen Stewart's moody mannerisms.

    The Hollywood Reporter Full Review
  • Randy Cordova

    Two very important things to note about Vampires Suck: The film is a spoof of the "Twilight" movies, and the title is a good indication of where the level of wit lies.

    Arizona Republic Full Review
  • Phil Contrino

    As if a string of bad jokes wasn't enough, Vampires Suck is full of distractingly forced pop culture references and shameless product placements (the actors practically mug for the camera while holding various products).

    Boxoffice Magazine Full Review
  • Peter Hartlaub

    That Vampires Suck is a step above god-awful is something of a miracle.

    San Francisco Chronicle Full Review
  • Natalie Southwick

    Non-"Twilight'' fans would be better off surfing YouTube.

    Boston Globe Full Review
  • Roger Moore

    If Kristen Stewart ever saw Vampires Suck, she'd be scarred for life.

    Orlando Sentinel Full Review
  • Nathan Rabin

    The boys similarly deserve very minor props for choosing a satirical target that lends itself to satire: the glum, self-important Twilight novels and movies. Sadly, that's where the filmmakers' mild accomplishments end and the groaningly predictable hackwork begins.

    The A.V. Club Full Review
  • James White

    A Twilight pastiche with all the wit you'd expect from the makers of "Scary Movie" and "Meet The Spartans."

    Empire Full Review
  • Joe Leydon

    The lame mediocrity of Vampires Suck undeniably reps an advance for writer-directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. By just about any other standard, however, this instantly forgettable trifle is fairly close to worthless.

    Variety Full Review
  • Jen Chaney

    Vampires suck? That's a matter of opinion. But here's what inarguably, unequivocally does suck: Vampires Suck.

    Washington Post Full Review
  • Nick Pinkerton

    Smart money says Friedberg and Seltzer never sit through these movies in entirety.

    L.A. Weekly Full Review
  • Nick Schager

    It's a sloppy, tossed-off collection of parodic gags of vampire flicks and gratuitous pop-cultural references (oh, there will be pointless Lady Gaga gags!) that are below bottom-of-the-barrel.

    Time Out New York Full Review
  • Marc Savlov

    You want vampiric satire with actual laughs? Try Mel Brooks' "Dracula: Dead and Loving It," "Love at First Bite," or even Roman Polanski's "The Fearless Vampire Killers." Anything is better than Friedberg and Seltzer's endless, bargain-basement, sub-Cracked magazine un-comedy.

    Austin Chronicle Full Review
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  • dentures

  • juggling act

  • stabbing

  • torn between two men

  • juggling

  • rescue

  • biting

  • transformation

  • vampire versus werewolf

  • lovesick

  • revealing movie spoiler

  • biker

  • cinema

  • unrequited love

  • race against time

  • paper cut

  • fisherman

  • principal

  • romanticism

  • biology course

  • forever young

  • vampire vs vampire

  • small town

  • voice over narration

  • good versus evil

  • apple

  • first day of school

  • attraction

  • classmate

  • true love

  • vampire bite

  • bite

  • high school prom

  • high school student

  • high school romance

  • high school friend

  • friendship

  • falling in love

  • bowling ball

  • native american

  • forest

  • teenage boy

  • two word title

  • enemy

  • teenage love

  • revenge

  • loneliness

  • teenage romance

  • murder

  • saved from accident

  • female student

  • telepathy

  • dance

  • vampire human love

  • eternity

  • immortal

  • fang

  • fight

  • van

  • biology class

  • school

  • new kid

  • small town sheriff

  • fictional place

  • parody

  • slapstick

  • pop culture

  • dog

  • chihuahua

  • vampire slayer

  • fan girl

  • eclipse

  • porsche

  • brazil

  • werewolf

  • childhood friend

  • heart broken

  • 40 oz

  • hit with a shovel

  • segway

  • baseball bat

  • birthday

  • vampire

  • tattoo

  • contract

  • tabby cat

  • time lapse photography

  • crucifix

  • punch bowl

  • signing yearbook

  • bare chested male

  • male nudity

  • indecent exposure

  • bare butt

  • ritual

  • motorcycle

  • cat

  • friend

  • duringcreditsstinger

  • horror spoof

  • prom

  • blood

  • jell o wrestling

  • bikini

  • jumping into a fountain

  • mirror ball

  • spurting blood

  • animal skeleton

  • hamster cage

  • pacifier

  • punched in the face

  • wheelchair

  • black cat

  • passionate kiss

  • switchblade

  • letterman jacket

  • hair spray

  • tuna salad sandwich

  • slurping a drink with a straw

  • cheetos

  • product placement

  • pinching nipple

  • broken nose

  • slow motion action scene

  • hearing characters thoughts

  • pepper spray

  • kicked in the crotch

  • crash through window

  • sun beam

  • bling

  • squirrel

  • tongue piercing

  • garter belt

  • grand piano

  • champagne fountain

  • tantrum

  • megaphone

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  • lumber truck

  • acoustic guitar

  • torn limb from limb

  • washboard abs

  • limousine

  • male rear nudity

  • public humiliation

  • party

  • sheriff

  • love

  • teenager

  • spoof

  • high school

  • nosebleed

  • trip and fall

  • french door

  • chinese carryout food

  • alice in wonderland

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